Dreams

My heart fears. Of all things, this heart fears my dreams because dreams will make the heart suffer. Frankly, my dreams have changed. When I was a little girl, I aspire to be a succesful business woman. Wealthy and living a glamorous life on the fab lane. When I first heard about university, I sought to do medicine- somehow I didn't think I was cut out to be one or perhaps I am just to lazy to work for the grades I need to enter a medical school (my pointer is definitely not enough). And now, when the time has come for me to spread my wings and pursue my dreams, I don't really what my dreams are. Sad but, true. After so many years of filling in the word 'neurologist' as my ambition, now I am no where near the science field. I am going to one of the best university in Malaysia- secretly, I believe it is the best university in Malaysia. I would be jumping for joy if I am able to do my degree outside Malaysia but hey, who am I to whine? I should be thankful! And I got the course I wanted, my first choice. So I am one blessed individual I would say! I don't really know if I truly wanted this course. But a dear friend once told me that she picture me as an editor of a renowned magazine company. I dismiss her words as pure imagination. Now I look at one of the career prospects for this course is to be a journalist. Hmmm...I wonder if I will be an editor someday. Whatever it is I am still searching for what my heart truly desires. What this heart truly fears. I pray I am on the right track. On the path that God has paved for me before the world even began- only if I live long enough to travel the path. Life is short. But I guess, no matter what our desires are, deep down every soul shares the same dream: To be loved and love in return. And that fulfiling love can only be found when one comes to know the Creator. Ironic isn't it? I know this yet I am still searching. My mind is so boggled up now.